Ever head off on the "wrong" track?

I wrote a post recently.  Went TOTALLY away from my initial train of thought and never remembered to wrap that train back around the track and come back to it.  So, what's a girl to do, but make another post!

I was writing about being home in our "recent" (we moved two years ago) church family and the feelings I felt took to get there.  Thankful that God was faithful through my looking back and didn't turn me into a pillar of salt!

This may or may not come as a big surprise, but sometimes, our "feelings" can't be trusted.  I spent almost two years not "feeling" at home where God had put us.  But God had clearly brought us exactly where we were to be and I had to set those feelings aside.  It wasn't always comfortable.  It wasn't always fun.  Mix in a lot of life that happened in year two of this life change to toss some more questions of "what on earth is going on!?"  I have asked, "What the bajeebers!?" to God more than a dozen times.

But through the times of questioning those feelings I had to rest hard on the fact that God had us:  Had us where He wanted us. Had us where we belonged. And he simply HAD us.  Regardless how I "felt" in the moments, I had to trust that it was where and how we belonged. My feelings about the issue had to sit in the co-pilot seat, simply along for the ride.

How often do we have to take our feelings and remind ourselves that feelings don't drive the train.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I subscribe to a firm belief that when God says "Do", you "Do".  And you keep "doing" until he tells you otherwise.  Two and a half years ago we were doing the dos, but our feelings weren't "feeling" it.  Many nights of disenchanted conversations, confusion, and questions.  But never a clear word that we were anywhere other than where God had us "doing" for the past twenty years.  

So we didn't move, kept doing the things regardless how the feelings felt. About six months later and God said "Move and do this."  Ironically, it was shocking in the moment, but we didn't waste time in doing what God said and made the move and started doing the things.  It is almost always easier to see the plan when you look back. And it sure is exciting to be able to look back and see the testimony of an All Knowing, All Powerful, Loving God at work.  Doesn't always "feel" so good in the moments of course.

Now, I've gone from feeling wrong with the staying, making a relatively big change, and then feeling wrong in the new.  Our feelings are such finicky things, which is why we strive to always let them trail behind as a caboose.  And focusing on the steadying arms of God while in the questions.

I referenced the Israelites recently and their doubts and whining in the desert.  It's comforting to see Joshua and Caleb who surface the first time God sends them into Canaan at Moses' command and start scoping it out-seeing all the things God is planning to provide them with when they simply obey.  But the majority of that team come back just-a-whining and scared of all the "what ifs".  God said I'm going to move and you get to be a part of this!  And they let their feelings put a kibosh to the entire thing. Did they stop God, thwart his plans, make him unable to carry out his plan?  Absolutely not, but he certainly wasn't going to bless them if they weren't going to trust him when he said act.  

Caleb, who was part of that first scouting party Moses sent in to check it out, was 40 years old that first trip in.  He gave an honest report of the land and it's bounty while the rest of the spies "caused the people to lose heart"  

Caleb says in Joshua 14:7-10 "I was forty years old when Moses the Lord's servant sent me from Kadesh-barnea to scout the land, and I brought back an honest report. My brothers who went with me caused the people to lose heart, but I followed the Lord my God completely. On that day Moses swore to me, "The land where you have set foot will be an inheritance for you and your descendants forever, because you have followed the Lord my God completely."  As you see, the Lord has kept me alive these forty-five years as he promised, since the Lord spoke this word to Moses while Israel was journeying in the wilderness. Here I am today, eight-five years old."

Forty years old when he was given a God command.  Followed it. Trusted in God regardless what others were doing.  Had to "stay put" because that was the action God gave next. And forty-five years later he gets the reward.  If you go on to read the rest of the chapter (just read the entire book!) Caleb is "still as strong today as (he) was the day Moses sent (him) out.". Dude was as strong at eighty-five as he was at forty!  

Would he have been blessed like this if he followed his feelings? Let them rule his life for forty-five years while wandering with the "most pleasant of non-whining, obedient, uplifting" group of individuals? (PLEASE sense my sarcasm here!) I am sure not.  Faithfulness is always rewarded.  May not be on our timeline, may not always "feel good" in the moment.  But obedience and faithfulness are the actions I intend to always chase after.  And GO where God says to "get going", and DO when he says "get doing"